The Idiot's Guide To Pedro Almodovar

Who is he?

Straight-as-a-parabola Spanish director with horizontally generous hair caused by either a surge of high voltage electricity or a hedgehog permanantly residing on his head.

Directing style

• Alfred Hitchcock on acid.
• Bubble-gum pop scenery with hallucogenic colours every which way you look. It's like gawping at an animated Andy Warhol potrait.
• A restraining-order-level obsession with Penelope Cruz
• Soap opera-esque plots filled to the brim with drag queens, transvestites, psychopaths and menopausal crying women.

Talk to Her - Male nurse has his heart set aflutter by a comatose patient. Male nurse rapes said comatose patient. Male nurse plugs himself out as some grease-ball creep of a casanova burdened by unrequited love.
Shudder.

Tie Me Up Time Me Down - Ah, the age old love story dished out time and time again. Boy is released from mental institution. Girl is a drug snorting porn-star. Boy meets girl by breaking into her appartment and proclaiming his unrequited grease-ball creep love by tying her to her bed and keeping her hostage in her house until she gets all Stockhol Syndrome swoony.

Overall opinion: as empowering as watching an aproned housewife get anxiety attacks about chicken marination.