The Downfall of Disney

Walt Disney, the big cheese of animation, kneaded, moulded and fueled the animation field into the money-guzzling industry it is today. Sure, now his surname utters dread at the mental image of high-pitched girly shrieking and aggressive merchandise marketing...but flickering through the history pages its clear it wasn't always so. And it all started with a mouse. A spherically-generous, foot-tapping, whistling mouse.


Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) - The Citizen Kane of animations. The top dog of cartoons that has dumped its influences the world entire and that has slumped Disney's wife into the running of the worst box office predictor. 'No one's ever gonna pay a dime to see a dwarf picture' she slurred out and how wrong she was.

Working on the classic prince meet princess fairy tale, Disney side stepped heavy handed, sugar coated soppiness and made this little number a funfair even for adult eyes. Funny, heart warming and goddarn scary when the queen bitch horror show begins.


Bambi (1942) - Despite the emotional trauma of seeing Bambi's mother getting the royal hunting rifle treatment, this coming of age romp should be pinned down down as a Disney classic. Sure, it probably induced a world wide epidemic of post-traumatic stress disorder in children, but it also dished out a whole spectre of emotions without overwhelming the animation. So hats off to the man. And next time I veto we should make it a flesh wound only.

Cinderella - This glitter, sparkles and gloss cartoon used to invoke hardcore daydreams of fuzzy-wuzzy singing creatures and wand-brandshing vertically challenged godmothers when I was still in my pigtails and ribbons years. Rewatching it now, the tooth-decay-sweet bland main characters, the prototype rags-to-riches story and the soft-hue, stylised soppiness is enough to induce projectile vomiting.

Fantasia - This Disney's love letter to the ears maybe be struck out as a kitsch glorified pre-MTV music video by the critics, but as a freckle-drenched kid watching the marriage between high brow music and bobbing cartoon characters was a treat. Sure, now that I'm a freckle-free borderline adult there are some moments where I can but whince and scowl, but there also moments where I can but revel in its beauty.

Jungle Book (1967)- The creme de la creme of the bunch. Side stepping the gushing princes and princesses plot and instead tickling the spine of the Kipling novel, the Disney factory churned out this little timeless hit. The catchy-as-herpes musical numbers, the right on the button humour, the distinct character artwork and the absence of heavy handed mushy sentimantality will make sure this rumble in the jungle feature captivates the heart of audiences for decades to come.
All together now : 'Look for the baaaaaaaaaaaaaaare necessities.....'

The Aristocats (1970) - This is an up and down affair for me. The sappy, heavy on the sighing, whiny, verbally-upper-class 'Aristocats' are short of any other adjectives bar annoying. It's a flawed, watery feature with only the occasional redemption of the finger-clicking music dished out by the jazz-favouring alley cats, the butt-wagling ducks and the musings of the croaky-voiced rural dogs.

And before burdening you with an entire filmography to churn through I'll just make vague, inappropriate generalisations about the post-Walt world of Disney:

When pencils, paints and crayons were laid aside and pixels and vectors started ruling the joint, animation screeched ahead in the downward spiral. Now, I'm not one to stamp, smother and burn progress in the favour of rehashing the real-deal original but note that as soon as they unleashed the computer-minded herd onto the set, character design took one to the groin.

A large chunk of later animations went full blown on making a reincarnation of live action musicals by dishing out perfect coordinated dance moves and crap-the-world-over show tunes. When once oddball, erratic characters bobbed and jabbed along flawlessy to hip-swagger music, now computer-graphic-regurgitations whip out an understocked-jukebox power ballad.

The Disney Channel years ensue.

High School Musical - Disney lost its last inch of dignity and scrapped any lingering sensations of artistic merit for merchandise. Photoshopped teenagers singing into their basketballs is now their crowning glory and the company has mutated into a prepubuscent wet dream where campy generic underaged hussies are the poster children of bad taste and puddle-depth talent. Walt Disney is probably scolding in his grave.


P.S The Lion King didn't do it for me. Cast me out. shame me, name me and blame me, buts it's all a matter of opinion.