Netherlands Trip

Damn right. My dirt-poor-travelled, blog scribbing ass was hauled into the capital of the orange country in time to watch the World Cup finals in a sea of citrus coloured dutch folk.

Post Holiday Evaluation:

Coffeehouse tally - I don't puff the magic dragon but I still derived an infantile pleasure at sight spotting the rastafarian window displays and visualising the semi dazed cafe dwellers with their bed ridden hair, slurred speech and glazed expressions. Duuuuuude.

Hotel insomnia - I slugged it out into the early hours of the morning by shuffling in bed with the air conditioner turned up to the gail-force propeller level. The dutch television channels slowly morphed into feather soft porn bonanzas with barely clad women massaging themselves under a telephone advertisment banner.

Daft security questions: Do on-the-cusp-of-evil-travellers buckle and own up as soon the 'Did you pack your own bags' question froths up into the conversation?

Dafter prohibited items list: I was skim reading the mammoth list of no-go objects at the airport when I stumbled upon 'radioactive material' in the mix. Do the plastic-fantastic, chavette travellers insist on slipping uranium into their hand luggage for an off kilter after-tan glow or is there now a ripe mainstream market for the geiger-counter-inducing products? Health and safety gone mad.

Utrecht - A goddarn beautiful city without the havoc and hefty crowds of Amsterdam. Odd outdoor toilet contraptions for the dudes plonked all around the city - useful after a beer guzzling session, prevents a urine stench perfuming the city but provides unpostcard scenery of guys hovering around a plastic mould.

Amsterdam - Once the canals kick in, the city isn't half bad. We stomped around the city when the football-madness was still ripe so we got to experience the vuvezela-hooting and the orange-clad fans full on.

Football on the big screen - In one word to summarize the whole scenario...crap. For the pre-football gathering they were blaring out techno music so we decided to stroll around before perching our asses back on the lawn and watching the game. By the time the anthems blared out, the place was so jam packed that we got a microscopic view of the screen. Frankly. I like my football without having to wince my way throught two towering beasts bobbing in the foreground. So in half time we quickle squandered to a bar and saw the remaining match in a smoke mist filled beer garden.

Beer - I got my first taste of the yeast drink and its a full on thumbs up from me. Although I've only gulped down Heineken and Jupiler, with enough football matches I'll become a hard core beer aficianado before the season is done.

Cycling - Whereas America has cemented its footing as the oil-guzzling, gearhead car-orama country, the Netherlands surely sweeps the stakes on the two wheeled front. In related news, my on-foot pedestrian ass nearly got run over twice there by mopeds.